


What You Remember

by Missy



Category: Psych
Genre: Humor, Movie Reference, Multi, Polyfidelity, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:23:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn, Juliet and Gus all have different memories stemming from the night Juliet got pregnant - and all of them involve an electric blanket and a discussion about 'Caligula.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afullmargin (anemptymargin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemptymargin/gifts).



> Written for Afullmargin for the fandom_helps auction.

Shawn is absolutely, positively sure it happened this way:

Gus wanted his electric blanket; something-something-something the cold weather effects my scoliosis and you’re hugging all the damn covers, Shawn. So he rolled over and gave him the blanket, with some little bit of struggle. 

Then he rolled over and grumbled something about how Jules was wrenched so hard into his side it felt like he had a ‘fibula’.

“Can we change places?” Gus whined. “Your knee’s sliding right up my crack.”

“I thought you were into that,” Shawn mumbled, half-awake.

“Not like this,” Gus complained. “Jules, can we switch?”

She shrugged. “Whoever gets quiet the fastest gets to have my spot.”

Shawn and Gus clammed up simultaneously.

“Fine!” There was a cacophonous flailing of elbows and knees as Gus took Juliet’s spot in Shawn’s arms and managed to push Gus over and into hers. “Dude, what did you rub your head with?”

“It’s coconut oil, Shawn! And it cost me a hundred dollars to look this good you guys, not that you noticed this morning.”

“I noticed,” Juliet mumbled into Gus’ forearm. “You smelled like a Mounds Bar.”

“I smell like a Bounty bar,” Gus counter haughtily. 

“You’re delicious, Gus. Like a big lump of sweet creamy coconut-covered chocolate.”

“…That was totally racist.”

Juliet snored into Gus’ shoulder.

“Okay, going to sleep…” he wriggled around against Gus’ back. “What do they call this spooning, anyway?” Shawn asked, from his unadvantageous position against Gus back. 

“It was a custom invented by the Romans,” Gus insisted, though his face was mushed into the back of Juliet’s head. “They really liked their snuggling.”

“Really?” Shawn paused and seemed to consider that.

Apparently to great effect, because soon the blood he . “SHAWN. Why in the hell is talking about ancient Roman history giving you a boner?”

“It’s not the history part of it. Dude, I saw Caligula on Cinnemax last night…”

“Caligula?” Gus glared back over his shoulder. “Caligula. Really?”

“There was girl on girl action, Gus! You know I’m weak when it comes to watching Helen Mirren make out with other girls!”

“She is one badasss Sapphist, but you’re weak when it comes to a lot of crap, Shawn,” Gus complained. 

“I’m weak when it comes to you, my little coconut-scented love muffin.”

Shawn started nuzzling back of Gus’ neck. “…We do have five hours before we need to be up…”

“I’ll be as still as a little bump on a little tiny little teeny frog.”

“…Why are you even harder? That is so. Wrong.”

“Why don’t you make it really hard?” It was hard to leer into the back of Gus’ neck, but he made a valiant effort. 

Gus did his level best. They were so into it that by the time Juliet joined in he had forgotten to cloak the little wizard in his plus five shields. 

And that’s how they ended up with a baby.

***

Or maybe it happened this way…

**** 

Juliet was exhausted. Absolutely tired down to her bones. She’d had to deal with a pile of paperwork as well as escorting a dignitary around the piers. Carlton had been good about reciting locations and keeping the man abreast of the place’s latest activities, and in trade their faces were all over the local websites and newspapers. Her feet hurt, her back ached, and she just wanted to sleep.

The boys would not shut up. Something-something CALIGULA of all things (oh God did she hate that movie, no matter how hot Helen Mirren was in it). And then they started to flat-out make out behind her, and what the hell was she supposed to do? She tried sleeping through it (she loved them – and loved having sex with them - just not now). But after what felt like an eon of bouncing mattresses and soft groans, she decided to intervene and bring the proceedings to a rousing conclusion. She glanced over her shoulder - somehow they’d ended up in a sixty-nine position, and Gus kept kneeing her softly in the ear. She knew this routine. Shawn was taking forever to get off and she knew if she didn’t apply her special brand of elbow grease he’d never sleep that night. 

“Well, that’s one way to shut you both up.”

Somehow she ended up on top of Shawn while Gus tried to help them both out. She realized quickly that he’d forgotten the condom but didn’t hesitate for a moment - they HAD been trying for a baby, and the love between them was permanent and fixed - no matter the advent of the encounter, the base result was joyful and unchangeable. And if she kept moving, Shawn would go to sleep, and she’d FINALLY come.

Gus helped her out with his mouth around her clitoris and his hand on her breast. 

That was why he was her favorite at the moment.

Sometime after her orgasm she flat-out passed out with the heating pad kinked to twelve under her neck. She vaguely recalled Gus rolling her off her and the sound of someone snoring by her head. 

When she woke up again, it was Saturday and Gus was snoring into her chest while Shawn ate Cheetos and watched Mannimal on her new IPhone. 

And THAT’S how Jules ended up pregnant with their daughter.

*** 

Or was it?

*** 

Gus was tired of Shawn’s crap. He knew the guy was lying on his blanket – he could smell the damn heat wafting up off of it. But if Shawn wanted to play that way, fine, he’d play. Someone said something about Caligula and about how Helen Mirren was hot. 

So he had to give Shawn what he needed – the way he always does, and the way Juliet can’t. No wonder she had to throw her lot in with them – otherwise she would have been invisible in the tangle of their limbs. There were orgasms but he was too busy being angry about the stupid electric blanket to care much.

To be honest, he sort of regrets those tiny, scant minutes – not a single other second of their relationship, but those few, brief moments, because he knows it’s physiologically impossible for him to be the dad, which is sad and sometimes sends him into convulsions of sobbing. They’d have kids together later, but that could’ve been HIS baby if he’d forgotten the stupid condom. 

Ah well. He’d be a good daddy in his own way. At least he could remember being there, helping her, helping them both. It was what he was good at, and what he’d remember of the moment in the end.

And that was how Juliet got pregnant.

Totally.


End file.
